


Hesitant

by theinsandoutsofcastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, NSFW, Virgin!Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 17:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8900848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsandoutsofcastiel/pseuds/theinsandoutsofcastiel
Summary: Hi I was wondering if I could request a fic…if it’s not too much trouble! I was wondering if you could do a plus size readerxCastiel fluff/smut like she’s really hesitant to be with him in general especially sexually because of her weight and she’s afraid he doesn’t like her and he’s pitying her. AND Could you write a plus size readerxCastiel smut where it’s Cas’ first time and there’s a little instruction on her part. Maybe not much, like Cas picks things up quickly, just a little direction here or there. Thank you!





	

Warnings: Smut, self-conscious!reader, Virgin!Castiel

Fic:

You always assumed Cas pitied you, so when he first professed his love for you, it was hard to accept. It was even harder to believe that he actually wanted to be with you, despite his assurances. He was always professing his love for you, showing his affections, but you were still hesitant to be with him.

“Y/N,” Cas says, sitting beside you on your bed, “We can wait if you want to.”

“Why do you want this?” you ask him

“Because I love you,” Cas answers as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “And I want to be with you.”

“Do you though?” you ask him, looking down at your lap.

“Of course I do,” Cas answers, “Why would you even think something like that?”

“Look at me,” you answer, “And look at you. Why would someone who looks like that feel anything for someone who looks like this, other than pity?”

“You believe I pity you?” Cas questions, his hand cupping your cheek and bringing your gaze to his.

“Yes,” you reply, “Why else are you here?”

“Y/N, I love you because of who you are, not what you look like,” Cas tells you.

“But it would help if I was skinnier right?” you ask him.

“Do you think I could love you anymore than I already do?” Cas questions, heartbreak in his voice, “I love you Y/N, more than anything, can’t you see that. Your soul is beautiful, as is your body. To me, every bit of you is divine perfection.”

“There are a lot of bits,” you mumble sadly.

“Stop that,” Cas whispers, “Do you think me so shallow as to only see the surface?” You sit quietly for a moment, pondering whether or not Cas really means what he’s saying. “Y/N?” he asks, looking for any sort of response. You can see the gears turning in his mind, trying to think of what to say in order to prove his love for you. “Please don’t push me away,” he finally continues, “I don’t pity you, I depend on you.”

“Cas,” you sigh, “I don’t want to push you away. It’s just … how do I know you’re asking for this because you want to and not just because you think it’s what I want?”

“I can assure you that I want you,” Cas says, “You’re the only person that I have ever wanted to be with in this way. You do things to me that no one has ever done to me before, things that I’m not sure I understand. I trust you, Y/N, and I know that out of every person on Earth, you are the one I want to help me understand these feelings. I need you, Y/N, please tell me you see that.”

“Cas, I love you,” you tell him, “And I want to be with you but …” You couldn’t seem to find anything to protest.

“But?” Cas presses, waiting for you to finish your thought.

“Nothing,” you answer, “No, I love you and I want to be with you. That’s it.” A smile forms across Cas’ lips and his other hand comes up so that he cups your face between his hands.

“I love you,” Cas says, capturing your lips as he’s done so many times before. You fist your hands in his trench coat, pulling him closer as Cas deepens the kiss. His tongue swipes along your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You part your lips for him, his tongue slipping into your mouth and mapping out the space. One of your hands slides up Cas’ chest and you slip it around to the nape of his neck.

Cas doesn’t break the kiss as he lays you back against the bed. One of his hands slips beneath your head for support, the other trailing down your body. You moan against his lips as his hand cups your breast, squeezing through the material of your shirt and bra.

“Cas,” you giggle as his hand moves down and slips beneath the material of your shirt. The feeling of his fingers tracing random patterns against your skin makes you shiver. “Cas!” you shout in shock as your clothing disappears. You instantly cover yourself.

“Is this alright?” Cas asks, pulling away. It’s only then that you notice he’s undressed himself as well. The way he looks at you makes you relax a little. It’s as if you’re his whole world and he would never see you as anything less than perfect.

“Um, yeah,” you answer as you slowly let your hands fall away from yourself, “A little warning would’ve been nice though.”

“Next time,” Cas promises.

“Oh, you already think there will be a next time, do you?” you tease.

“There will be, won’t there?” Cas asks, worry in his eyes.

“I love you,” you laugh, reaching up to card your hand through his hair.

“I love you too,” he responds, “But there will be a next time, right?”

“Yes,” you answer, “If we both want that.” Cas only seems to get more nervous.

“I may not know what I’m doing when it comes to intercourse, but I’m a fast learner,” Cas tells you, “Please don’t let my inexperience influence your decision about this happening again. I’ll get better with time, I promise.”

“I won’t,” you promise him, “And I’m just as nervous as you are.” Cas nods and seems to relax a little. You guide his lips to yours again before letting your hands travel down his chest.

Each line of his body is perfection, it hardly seems fair. Cas breaks the kiss and begins kissing his way down you’d body. “Cas, what are you doing?” you ask as he presses kisses across your stomach.

“I want to kiss every inch of you,” Cas explains, mumbling against your skin, “You’re so beautiful.” You giggle as his hands tickle your sides. Suddenly, he stops and props himself up on his elbows.

“What’s wrong?” you ask worriedly.

“I want to do something,” Cas says, “But I decided that I should give you some sort of warning before I did it.”

“What’s that?” you ask him.

“I’ve seen it in videos, and I’d like to try it,” Cas says, “I’ve was wondering if I could kiss you here.” His fingers ghost over your entrance from bottom to top, giving your clit just enough friction to make you gasp. “Would that be alright?” he asks you.

You swallow thickly and nod, propping yourself up on your elbows in order to watch as Cas dips his head down. His hands press your legs apart so that he can settle between them. He keeps his eyes on yours as he leans in and presses a kiss to your clit.

“Cas,” you moan as he sucks the bundle of nerves between his lips, his tongue flicking over it and sending pleasure through you. One of his hands slides up your body and squeezes your breast as his lips move lower. He hums against you, making you moan as his tongue leaves a long lick up your entrance.

You reach down with one hand, threading it into Cas’ hair as he kisses your folds, licking and sucking. Your head tips back as Cas’ tongue slips into you, swirling against your walls. His hands grasp your hips tightly, as he buries his face between your legs. You give him very little direction, letting him have control as he works you closer and closer to the edge. His nose nudges your clit, making you cry out as your walls flutter around his tongue.

“Cas, don’t stop,” you beg, “I’m close.” Cas hums, sending vibrations straight to your core. Your toes curl against the sheets as your back arches from the bed, your hand fisting tightly in Cas’ hair. “Castiel!” you cry out as your walls clamp down around his tongue. 

Waves of pleasure wash through you as Cas works you through your high. You moan praises, telling him just how good he is as you rock your hips towards him, riding out your orgasm. Cas laps up everything you have to give him, humming against you and prolonging your high.

“I need you,” Cas says, placing kisses to your thighs, “Please.” His hips rock against the bed, seeking friction for himself.

“Come here,” you instruct, tugging his hair gently so that he’s looking up at you. Cas’ eyes are dark with lust, a look you’d never seen on him before, but one you already knew you would never be able to get enough of.

Cas crawls above you, caging you beneath him, and his lips instantly capture yours. He kisses you deeply and passionately, the taste of yourself lingering on his lips. “I need you,” Cas repeats. He rocks his hips down, his hard cock pressed against your thigh.

“Condom,” you remind him. Cas nods, waving his hand and making a condom appear around his cock. He kisses you as he shifts his hips, lining himself up with your entrance. You run your hands over him, determined to memorize every inch of his body. Cas catches one of your hands and intertwines his fingers with yours, pushing it back against the bed beside your head. “Cas, please,” you moan, needing to feel him inside you.

“Y/N,” Cas groans as he pushes into you, filling you to the hilt. You dig your fingertips into the skin of his shoulder as you adjust to his size. Cas’ hand squeezes yours tightly and he nestles his face into the crook of your neck. “Is this alright?” Cas asks between placing kisses to your neck.

“I need you to move, Cas,” you instruct as you lift your hips towards him. Cas groans against your skin, his cock twitching inside you.

“Like this?” Cas asks as he pulls back and thrusts into you again.

“Mmm,” you hum, exactly like that. Cas pulls back and thrusts into you, just as he had before. “Don’t stop,” you whisper, begging him to continue. Cas does as you had asked, setting a pace that begins slow, but begins increasing in speed and intensity. When you tell him not to hold back, his thrusts become rougher.

You’d never heard Cas make sounds like the ones currently escaping his lips, and you couldn’t get enough. “Y/N,” he grunts and groans, his grip on you becoming tighter. He tells you how good you feel, how badly he needs you, how he’s never felt the way you make him feel. Cas’ hand moves from your hip and comes up to rest beside your head, his hand tangling in your hair. He props himself above you as he moves inside you. The new angle has him sliding against your g-spot with each thrust, pressure building in your stomach.

“Cas,” you moan, the feeling of his throbbing cock pumping in and out of you driving you towards the edge yet again, “Oh, Cas, you feel so good.” You grasp at him, trying desperately to pull him closer to you. Cas leans down, capturing your lips as Cas’ thrusts become erratic.

Your back arches from the bed as your walls pull tight around Cas’ length. Cas groans against your lips, his cock throbbing and twitching inside you. “Y/N,” he grunts, his hips bucking erratically. His hand squeezes yours tightly as he reaches his end.

“Castiel!” you cry out, reaching your orgasm just as Cas reaches his. Your walls clamp down around Cas’ pulsing cock as he spills himself into the condom. Cas thrusts erratically, working you both through your highs as pleasure courses through your body, making you shudder.

“Y/N,” Cas whispers, placing kisses down your neck and across your chest.

“I love you, Cas,” you tell him, carding your hand through his messy hair.

“I love you too,” you whisper.

“Was I alright?” Cas asks you as he pulls himself from you gently and removes the condom before moving to your side.

“More than,” you tell him, “You were perfect.” Cas smiles as he wraps you up in his arms.

“Are you sure that wasn’t pity sex?” you ask him, still unsure of yourself.

“I’m positive,” Cas tells you as he brushes your hair back behind your ear.

“It’s just … sometimes I don’t understand what you see in me,” you admit.

Cas cups your cheek, bringing your gaze to his before answering, “I can see your soul, Y/N, it’s beautiful, and bright, and strong. That is what I see in you. You’re selfless and you’ve done so much for others, for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Like I said before, I don’t pity you, I depend on you.”


End file.
